Lacking control in your life? Follow these 3 simple steps.

If you feel like you struggle to gain control over your life, you are not alone. You are one of many who feel like they are living in a reactive state, rather than being proactive. Anytime you set out to accomplish something or do good, you are derailed by the unexpected. Eventually you start to wonder, "what's the point of even trying?"

I was you. I really struggled to try to gain control over my life. I had the best intentions, but that seemed to have little impact in the end. Fortunately, I was able to overcome that in 3 simple steps, and you can too.

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Step 1: Take responsibility for your choices

You always have a choice. You ALWAYS have a choice. In every situation, you have the ability to choose. The options may not always be your preferred choices, but you have choices.

Sometimes we try to finesse our way out of choosing by

1. not making a decision

2. not fully committing to our decision

3. not taking responsibility for our decision

You have to stop doing this if you want to see a positive change. Not choosing is still choosing. You are choosing to be passive and the outcome of that choice is hardly ever desirable.

If you do make a choice, it is important that you commit to your decision. Being wishy-washy is a sure way to feel incompetent, insecure and to have regret. Once you make a choice, commit to it. This alone will change your perspective of the outcome, whatever it may be.

And on the flip side of the same coin, you have to take responsibility for your choices. If you make a decision, have fully committed to that decision and the outcome is undesirable or not favorable, take responsibility. This will strengthen your ability to make better choices in the future. So own the choices you make.

Step 2: Acknowledge that you are not in control

I know. I just told you to take responsibility for your choices and now I'm telling you to acknowledge that you are not in control. Stick with me here!

You only have control over one thing: the choices you make. Everything else is out of your control. You might choose to be a great parent, an expert in your field, or to make a lifestyle change. But these are truly desires, and beyond the choices you make in pursuit of those desires, you have no control. You cannot control your children, your competitors, the economy, etc.

I could write an article with 5,000 words listing all of the things you do not have control over and it would be a short list. And that is ok! It's ok that you are not in control. The sooner you accept this, the better off you will be.

I use to have a lot of anxiety over things I had no control over. I know I'm not alone. One of my biggest struggles was the lack of control over other people

• How people feel

• What people think of me

• Other peoples choices

Accept that you have no control over those things. You CAN choose how you respond to those things.

I am not suggesting that you don't take responsibility for hurting or offending someone. Your choices do have an impact on people around you and that is part of taking responsibility for your choices.

Step 3: Surrender control to God

So you have accepted the reality that you have a choice. You acknowledge that beyond your choices, you have no control. The next step is to surrender control to God.

You may have received this advice before, but feel like these are just words. What does it look like to surrender control to God? I'm glad you asked. Surrendering control to God looks like this:

• Acknowledge who God is: Your creator is Holy. He knows everything. He is faithful

• Acknowledge who you are: You are human. This means you sin (be specific as to how if you are aware of it), you do not know everything.

• Ask for forgiveness: Repent

  • Acknowledge your error

  • Apologize sincerely

  • Determine to make a different (and better) choice. If you are unsure about what that is, then ask God for guidance through His Holy Spirit

• Ask God to take control of your life and for the strength to trust Him

• Have faith

  • Determine to believe that He will do this

  • Live as if the Creator of everything is in control of your life

  • Be obedient when He leads you

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Final words of encouragement

And there you have it. Three simple steps to take if you are feeling out of control in your life. I call these steps “simple”, because in hindsight, it was a simple thing for me to do to have major deliverance in my life. However, understand that if you are not accustomed to doing these things, it may be challenging initially. And even if it is not challenging, there is a learning curve to identify when to apply these steps to your life. But once you 1. Choose and commit to doing this 2. Acknowledge that making this choice does not mean that you can control any related outcomes and 3. Surrender it to God, you will begin to make strides.

Also, I have to point out the reality that Step 3 is the most important step. You can make major changes and improvements in your life by only implementing Step 1 and Step 2. But my goal is not to help you improve your life. My goal is to help you live a fruitful life, and good fruit only comes from God. To truly see change in your life that is real and lasting, you must surrender to God, and turn to His word.

Give these 3 steps a try if you are feeling out of control in your life. I am confident that you will not be disappointed.

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